C-Bake's Amazing Site of Spectacularness!!!

 
 
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Review Haiku No. 15
Q*bert
Arcade, 1982

I suck at this game.
Love it...but the controls blow.
Fell off again?!  @!#?@!

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Review Haiku No. 14
Beauty & the Beast
Intellivision, 1982

Plays like Donkey Kong.
Buford is its hero. But...
I call him Gaston.

 
 
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Review Haiku No. 13
Tecmo Super Bowl
NES, 1991

Hey, Mister Jackson.
Please run this football for me.
Thanks for the touchdown!

BONUS! SPECIAL SUPER BOWL XLIV VERSION!

It's Saints versus Colts!
At QB? Walsh versus George!
...And everyone yawns.


 
 
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Review Haiku No. 12
E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial
Atari 2600, 1982

Hmm, I wonder what's
in this pit... Well, whaddya know?
Unsold copies! Neat!

 
 
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Review Haiku No. 11
Lakers versus Celtics and the NBA Playoffs
Genesis, 1990

Hey, you know somethin'?...
I never played this. Just Bulls...
Sorry 'bout that, folks.

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Review Haiku No. 10
Castlevania
NES, 1987

As Simon Belmont,
I'll whip down any monster.
...Except Death. Cheap punk.


 
 
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Review Haiku No. 9
BurgerTime
Arcade, 1982

Peter peppers packs
of pickled people (and peeps).
Pounds 'em with patties!

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Review Haiku No. 8
The Electric Company: Word Fun
Intellivision, 1980

Fun edutainment.
Know why? Monkeys. Everywhere.
Monkeys, I tell you!

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Review Haiku No. 7
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons
Intellivision, 1982

Travel through mazes,
shooting arrows at evil.
The snakes killed me lots.

[See one of those wretched snakes get taken down like a pro at 1:24 into the clip below...]
 
 
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Review Haiku No. 6
Major League Baseball
Intellivision, 1980

This game taught me it's
not impossible to bunt
balls over the fence.